Children or Marriage: Which Comes First??

Times are surely different and I don’t believe anybody will argue against that fact. Today’s traditions are not text book as they once where in the past. The evolution of marriage has taken things in a new direction. That which was deeply valued at one point is more of the icing on the cake in present day. So I ask you, what is the foundation in your life? Children or Marriage.

Marriage!! Your marriage should always come first with your children following a very close second. Well that is how things used to be I should say. Think about the kissing song:

“Boy & Girl sitting in a tree.

k-i-s-s-i-n-g

first comes love then come marriage

then comes a baby in a baby carriage”

Well there is a clear problem. We had kids first and now we are looking for our spouse, quite backwards I would say. I could use this point to drive home the fact that waiting for marriage before children is best but I don’t believe much good would come from it.

Allow me to provide some analogies. Bad ingredients produce bad products and you can’t have a nice house on a bad foundation, therefore, practice what you preach. The best way to raise your children is by providing a good example of what to do in life. You can talk to your child until they are blue in the face but at the end of the day they will mimic what mommy & daddy does. For this reason alone it is in the best interest of your kids to ensure the foundation is rock solid.

The day will come when it is time for your children to spread their wings and take flight in the place called the world. They will leave home in search of a new one with the skills you have shown them over the years. This will leave you sitting at your nest with a question mark on top of your head thinking “what now?” If you think focusing on a marriage 20 years after the fact is easy try asking some of the single 40+ year olds. There is quite a selection to choose from.

There is life after your children and if you do not prepare for it you will get caught blind sided by the reality when time comes. If you are a parent that lives through your children you are only handicapping your child and yourself. Build a solid foundation before having kids and for those who have had children already but not married yet, there is a bit of a challenge for you. First, don’t have any more children without being married. Secondly, when you do find a mate that you want to marry, focus on that foundation. Focus everything you have on that marriage and raise the children as a two-headed, eight-limbed organism working in sync with each other. I believe your product will be pure because your ingredients where pure.